Witch on a Hot Tin Roof
by CardboardCreative
Summary: A great many male students wished to be in Galinda's presence when the punch was spiked, but it was always Elphaba she ended up going back home with. Gelphie, a side order of Fiyeraba and... Filinda?


Disclaimer: **The hills are alive with the sounds of me denying owndership to Wicked.  
**Note: **Another "between projects project", one which is a little underdeveloped. But, then again, who doesn't enjoy a drunk Galinda? Also, I borrowed bits of bookverse to make this thing verbose, for _your_ enjoyment, of course.**

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A drunken Galinda was a funny sight. Holding alcohol had never been her aptitude: she sputtered and swayed, offered dumb jokes and was subject to awful mood swings. One too many usually sparked a drunken slur, and then angry rants, sad (shallow) confessions, climbing to the denouement with loud sobs and wide eyed tears. A great many male students wished to be in her presence when the punch was spiked, but it was always Elphaba she ended up going back home with.

The green girl half wished alcohol would take such an effect on her; the matter of the fact was, she would invite a little incoherent stupidity into her lifestyle, but Elphaba would never gain that luck. She held her alcohol like a Viking, and was usually no more than light-headed when she'd endured an equal amount to hiccoughing, hysterically giggling Galinda.

Even if she did drink, she inevitably became the designated driver, if you will. Her souvenir for these occasions was the incredible amount of vomit produced the morning, whereas Galinda would just grumble and moan.

The only way Elphaba could avoid cursing the world in the morning was to commence the alcohol intake _during_ the morning, and reschedule the regret until afternoon. That reminded Elphaba of her mother too much. She soon realized she'd never grow to enjoy the activity, and made no attempts to be anything but sober.

The frat children certainly didn't agree with that outlook; they were constantly hosting celebrations for no particular reason. Sometimes the distribution of toxins wasn't always so subtle, but now and again the punch was spiked to an almost insoluble degree. _Why do you even come here?_ Elphaba asked herself, _why do you bother?_

Holding conversations with oneself isn't uncommon upon those with green skin.

**You're here for Galinda.**

_She stays with you for about an hour, before moving on. Why don't you just go do the same?_

**Because…**

Elphaba rested her chin in the palm of her hand, watching as boys acted interpretations of Munchkin and Winky dances taught in Ozian Culture class. Ties swinging madly off their foreheads, the boys jittered their feet spastically and laughed as one tripped to the floor. Elphaba thought on her question, barely noticing the display.

_Because you have nothing better to do than follow your roommate around all night and make sure she doesn't get herself expelled for going into public wearing only a lampshade?_

**Those were unique circumstances.**

You think she parties a little too hard? 

**No. Yes. Maybe. It's really none of my business what she does, but I feel assured when I know where she is. Stay out of it, self.**

_Why don't you go back to your dorm, and let her deal with the consequences this time?_

**Because… I don't want her to get hurt, or taken advantage of.**

_You're hoping she'll share your bed._

**No, I don't. **

_Get a hold on yourself, Elphaba. You go mad with fantasies if she even mentions showering, and you've never even showered._

**I have to repress that. She's with Fiyero – she'd never want me. **

_Unless this is your clever idea of pursuing, perhaps you should at least try to catch her attention…_

"This is too weird," she stood up abruptly and dusted off her frock, "stop talking to yourself, Elphaba."

"Uh, Miss Elphaba?" came a small voice behind her. Turning to greet the intruder, she was face to face with innocent little Boq. "Are you okay?'

"Oh, yes, yes, I'm fine, Master Boq. How are y- are you drunk? Because if you are, I'm not even going to bother speaking…"

"Not at all," Boq balanced on his toes, probably to compensate for his lack of height in comparison to the green girl. "I'm here to make sure my roomies come home okay. I say a party is quite fine, but when you can't remember it tomorrow, well, you need to try a calmer approach."

"Still recovering from the Ozdust?" Elphaba smirked, white teeth contrasting with green skin particularly dull in the dim lighting.

Boq let out a chuckle.

"Kind of. Were you planning on leaving, or may I join you?"

Elphaba smiled, appreciative of Boq's always-sunny demeanour towards her own sour protectiveness. She'd remembered him mentioning being playmates as children, though if it were truth, the green girl couldn't recall. She figured you seldom forget comrades with green skin, so a bone was thrown and they'd developed a friendly acquaintance.

They sat down and began to nostalgically rant about their years in Munchkinland. Boq was especially interested to hear about Elphaba's life in Quadling Country – taking off his cap and fiddling with it in anticipation of ever analogy she gave.

"You really had to trudge through the mud everyday?"

"In thigh-high rubber boots. I never really figured out how they could wear them and still perform tribal chants. One could barely move."

"You lead an interesting life, Miss Elphaba Thropp."

"So I've been told," she grinned, "it doesn't hurt looking like this."

Boq smiled knowingly. "It's not just that. I'm talking about the places you've been, the things you've seen. What I would give to see some Quadling tribal dances for - what was it?"

"'The Growthification of Crops, Harvesting of Rubies, and Free Ale', in direct translation."

"As much as my youthful brain begs me to shun the subject of future prospect, it sounds like a party." Boq would have smirked, but found himself incapable. He was too kind a boy to do anything crude, and could only appear thoughtful, grin, or blush bashfully.

"I thought that was what this was," Elphaba swirled a finger around in the air to indicate their surroundings. The boy guffawed.

"This is more like a drunken brothel," he said simply. "Some parties were enjoyable. You've attended them, I think. But this is just a complete failure, and I doubt anything positive is going to come from it."

"You make a point," she quietly exhaled and looked around. Avaric, one of Boq's roommates, was holding onto a wall and laughing at nothing. She sneered at him when he shot her a snide look.

"I think your roommate could use some talking to," she pointed her index finger, and Boq laughed.

"I guess I'll bring him home, if it's alright for me to leave you?" He waited for her reply, there only being a moment's delay.

"I'll be alright, but the Captain seems to be losing grip. You should hurry." Avaric's pants weren't exactly fastened properly.

Boq's eyebrows shot up to his forehead and he laughed good-naturedly. "Some party!"

After he left, Elphaba started to look for her roommate. She searched through every blonde head, asking where to find Galinda when it wasn't her. What drew her to Boq were their similar misgivings with Miss Galinda, although on different echelons.

Boq was blunt about his crush, placing the blonde onto an impossibly high pedestal and idolized her, probably unable to fathom a chance. Elphaba, on the other hand, formed a certain bond with Galinda, something close to sisterly, but halfway romantic. They viewed each other's flaws like mud prints on a white carpet, and yet Elphaba still felt a nagging in her stomach for the girl.

"She was down the hall a while ago," replied an interrogated student trying to see through the unfortunate oil lamps. "Sweet Oz! You're _green_!"

"Oh, am I?" Elphaba asked, genuinely concerned. "Thank you for that reminder; otherwise I wouldn't have a clue!" She started down the hall.

Galinda was there, all right, sticking out from the rest from her delicate frame and flushed cheeks. Her blonde curls were persistently perfect and bouncing as she giggled with her friends, Pfannee and Shenshen, who were probably just as ready to call it a night as she was, madly giggling. Turning her head to reveal an unblemished face, despite her obvious handicap, Galinda lit up at the sight of her green friend.

"Elphie, hi! Sweet Oz, what happened to you? You look sea sick," she slurred, squinting at her. Elphaba pursed her lips and cleared her throat as Galinda's cronies laughed at the joke.

"What have you had to drink?" she asked soberly, knowing her friend wouldn't say something of that measure on purpose. The girl was practically going cross-eyed.

"Oh, a lil' bit ah this and that," Glinda made large, swinging arm gestures.

"That sounds lovely, but you have a lecture tomorrow afternoon, remember?"

"Nope," Galinda shook her head. "No lectures. Just _dancing through life!_ That's how Fiyero puts it." She grinned, looking over at the other girls for a moment, who giggled in response.

"Elphie, it's the funniest thing," the blonde giggled, putting her hands out at a small distance to indicate some very inappropriate measurements.

"Yes, I do believe it's time to say goodnight." Elphaba took her friend by the hand, and began to lead her away.

"What's the time? BYE GUYS! I LERVE YAH!" She waved at the room they left behind.

"It's little past midnight, but you've done yourself in nicely, Galinda," Elphaba dragged the blonde's dead weight behind her.

"Well, no DUH, this thing was a bust," she pointed at her breasts with the hand Elphaba wasn't gripping, and burst out laughing. "GET IT? BUST?"

"You're even funnier when you're silent." Elphaba sneered, relieved to be gone from the frat house, Galinda in tow. Elphaba disagreed with Boq's assumption on the occasionally enjoyable party.

As far as her comprehension went, she didn't require any merrymaking, nor could handle the bustle of unison communication. Whether every party be similar to the one they departed, or far more tolerable, Elphaba couldn't care less.

"Why do you do this to me, Galinda?" she asked rhetorically, as if the blonde weren't even beside her. "I'll go grey with worry, soon."

"I'm sorry, but you're a party pooper, Elphie," Glinda smiled and chuckled. "El-phie. Elphaba. It's a pretty name. Three syllables, like mine. Ga-lin-da."

"You're the first to notice," Elphaba muttered, preferring to get a lift home than drag the blonde all the way back to their dorm.

"Uh huh," Galinda stifled a yawn behind her hand and looped her arm through Elphaba's, snuggling the sinuous limb. "Pretty names for pretty ladies. Yah know, I think Fiyero thinks you're pretty."

This made Elphaba stiffen with discomfort. Not even to save her life would she mention how she felt about Fiyero. In all her fierceness, Elphaba was caught off-guard on account of both Galinda and Fiyero; it was a shame they were taken with each other, really. Both were insufferable and shallow, but Elphaba couldn't help but notice each falter during their routine lifestyle, as though they wanted to be elsewhere. Elphaba observed them like lies spilt accidentally on a canvas, and found herself accidentally falling for both of them.

"I think he thinks I think you think… something. Now I forgot. Look what you made me do!" Galinda's blonde curls bounced into place every time she swayed.

"Let's not talk about Fiyero," the green girl ordered dolefully.

"Oak-ily-doke! Oh, cheer up! You know, Elphie, he's right about you," she said, peering at her friend from across the carriage she was shoved into. Elphaba had tipped off the driver and climbed into the carriage herself, shutting the hatch.

"What was that?"

"You're really, very pretty."

- - -

"I'm never drinking again," Galinda groaned, wet cloth draped over her forehead. She lay upright on her pink bed sheets, eyes shut.

"I'll remind you of that next time there's one of those 'it's finally strawberry season' celebratory parties. Or the ever so popular, 'even if I failed, I will still inherit loads of money' parties."

"Oh, do shut up."

"Of course, it does help to relieve stress; running around with alcohol for blood and wealth for brains is such a hassle. Tell me, did it cost anything for a drink last night? Did they ask a skill-testing question for every shot? Do you even remember what you had?"

"Elphaba, _please_, my _head_!" Galinda cried from behind the hand concealing her face. It sounded more like a plea than a demand, creeping guilt into Elphaba's consciousness.

"I'm sorry," the green girl apologized quietly, fumbling with her fingers. "I'm being bitter. It's just, this is happening too often to be healthy. You need to get your priorities straight."

"I know," grumbled the blonde, "d'you think you could help me with that, too? Oh, I've been so selfish, Elphie! I drag you out every time."

"I'll help you," Elphaba smiled, "but you have to co-operate. Last night was okay, though, I had Boq to keep me company."

"You mean that Munchkin, Bick? The one with Nessarose?" It was evident that she was struggling through her headache to remember. Galinda's voice was far-off and meagre, as though anything louder would injure.

Mentioning Nessarose caused a heat in Elphaba's veins. She developed a theory that Galinda set Nessa and Boq together simply for her own convenience – to remove Boq from the picture, enabling a clearer focus on other boys. She could tell from the way the Munchkin would dreamily stare at the blonde in class that he and Nessarose didn't share a fifty/fifty arrangement. But she held it back.

"Yes, I do. We have class in an hour, by the way."

"Dammit!" Galinda recoiled at her own yelling. "I'm going to have to do some miracle healing."

"That's for next year," Elphaba noted, referring to their sorcery class. "I highly doubt this year's turning sand into rocks would help." She sat at the foot of her roommate's bed, hands folded backwards in her lap. Her shoulders slumped, in the rare way they did when she was relaxed. Glinda would never mention it, but this casual angle of Elphaba made her feel valuable.

"When did you say that class was?"

"An hour."

"You think there's any way I could get out of it without being noticed?"

"They're too strict to let it pass, but maybe Madame Morrible would be forgiving if you were missing a limb…" in an act of surprising bravery, she inched toward the blonde in a sinister manner. Galinda squealed with delight.

"Don't you come any closer, Elphaba Thropp!" she commanded, throwing her soaking cloth at the other girl, who narrowly missed it, and proceeded to let it sail over her shoulder. Galinda tried launching pillows at her assailant, with no results.

Though her head pounded, Galinda fought back, not knowing any area of Elphaba's weakness. Unbeknownst to her, the green girl wasn't foreign to ticklish parts of the body.

Their wrestling was strangely delicate, as Elphaba didn't want to hurt her tender victim, and Galinda was out of weaponry, torso splayed out for the green girl. They awkwardly stumbled and collapsed as Galinda burst into fits of giggles, squeaking for Elphaba to stop between laughter. Elphaba removed herself from atop her roommate and cleared her throat smugly.

"How do you feel now, Miss Galinda?" she asked.

Galinda raised her index finger, opening her mouth to speak, but shut it abruptly. "You know, I actually feel better. My head doesn't hurt now," she said, brows furrowed. "Thank you, Dr. Elphie."

"You're welcome. I do believe tea will suffice today, just don't drop it this time." The only thing left of Elphaba was a booted foot swinging the door closed – disappearing into the rest of the world. The door didn't slam as usual; a kind gesture in consideration of Galinda's inefficiencies.

Galinda shrugged, still contemplating how their fest of absolute rediculousity cured her headache. It wasn't completely gone, but she didn't feel nauseous. Perhaps it was because of Elphaba's magic ability, or her favourable presence was healthy to Galinda's morale, yet she brushed it off as windfall, and never thought of it again. She sat at her vanity and decided how to style her hair for the day.

A moment later, knocking came at the door.

"Elphie, if you can knock, you can open the door – it's unlocked!" she called.

A knock came again, accompanied by a head peeping through the door. It was not green, nor was it female.

"Fiyero!" Galinda shrieked, turning to face him. She was in the middle of applying her daily make up, treating it as an intrusion of her most sacred routine. "I'm a little _indecent_."

"Nonsense." Fiyero waved a hand nonchalantly, "I hope you don't mind me barging in."

He stepped inside before she could deny him, so Galinda put down her application brush, and crossed her legs.

"It's good to see you're looking well," the prince continued, "considering last night's activities."

"I remember you being much more _engrossed_ than I," she said, head tilted, a phantom stinging of the headache pooling at her temples. "I'm surprised; you look as though you've had a year of sleep."

He laughed, flashing a stunning smile and bright teeth, looking crisp in fresh clothes and groomed carefully. "I recover quickly. You, on the other hand, I wanted to drop in to see how you were fairing."

"I am here," Galinda smiled seductively, "I am well. Better than well, really."

Uninvited, and certainly unwelcome, the prince helped himself to a seat at the edge of Elphaba's neatly made bed. "I'm glad. You left without saying goodbye, I was looking for you."

"I came back here with Elphaba."

"Miss Elphaba was there?" Fiyero seemed bemused, or amused, it was hard to decipher. "I can't believe it, she came to the party?" Glinda nodded, indifferent and applying blusher. "Obviously for you, right?" She nodded again.

"I don't think I want to be attending many more of these parties, Fiyero," Galinda said airily, overlapping a snide comment the prince was about to make. "My exams are nearing, and I've had more than my share of frivolity."

"Oh – that wasn't frivolity, that was messy," Fiyero corrected, knowledgeable of the unpleasant turnout of the gathering. More than half of those who attended would be bedridden for the next few days.

"Anyways, I just wanted you to know that, if we do go out, it be in better company-"

"You mean on better revenue," Fiyero corrected slyly.

Galinda smirked at him. "Indeed."

"Well, then, how about we celebrate your breakaway from the low class, and skip class? There's a beautiful view I wanted to show you."

"Fiyero, I would love to, but I have a lecture. One I don't believe I can afford to miss."

"Oh, c'mon. It's just off campus, and almost as beautiful as you are," he said with a cunning smile. "I've been trying to find more beautiful things, but I haven't been able to. Ever since I saw you, searching is purposeless."

"I have studies to study and all," mumbled Galinda, locked in the prince's gaze.

Elphaba, unremembered for her brilliant and ideal timing for a good reason, chose such a moment to enter the room. The tea sloshed dangerously as she swayed at the sight of Galinda's hands flung around Fiyero's neck, her lips on his.

Their bodies were embraced, faces buried in each other's.

"OY!" exclaimed the green girl, closing the door behind her almost as soon as she opened it. A mechanical reaction, manoeuvring and walking away, is learnt with hardly any outside assistance. Elphaba didn't realize she'd even done it, consumed by thoughts, all speedily hitting the front of her head and crashing into one another, not realizing that she was escaping the hallway faster than necessary.

The pair broke apart messily, Galinda calling after her roommate.

"Oh, damn," she swore, bringing a face up to her cheek and catching herself in the mirror. Her lipstick was smudged, Fiyero's excellent mouth redder, almost effeminate. Galinda stared at herself in the mirror as the prince rushed out of the room to tend to Elphaba, unable to tear away. She watched as her surprised expression transformed into a saddened one – worry, perhaps? Guilt? All of a sudden, Glinda wanted to cry, fighting it back before ruining her cleverly done up face.

The hallway was cramped and narrow, also empty, save for a tray placed neatly on the ground, housing appropriate tea paraphernalia. Bending down to retrieve it, Fiyero looked both ways down the hall in hopes of spotting the green girl. He wanted to explain to her, to apologise, but those were useless, futile attempts.

He sighed, left only with the tray, and retreated back into the room.

"She's so fidgety – is she okay?" asked Galinda, tending to her hair.

"I wouldn't know, she just left this," he put the tray down in front of his girlfriend. "Absolutely no sight of her, you'd think she'd have spilt it in that hurry."

"No, no," Galinda countervailed in a no-nonsense tone, somehow absently, "Elphaba is not one to make a mess."

He stood behind her, watching the fuss she made over her locks for a moment. He didn't think the blonde caught wind of the intense meaning behind her words, but he felt winded, like Galinda slammed them in his chest.

Fiyero spent the rest of the day thinking on it, but still couldn't understand.

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**Parts of the story pertain to the title, indicating that Elphaba adopts Margeret's character from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof". There's a purple button SSE of the page that calls to you... asking politely to mention review-like things... answer the call!**


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